Tensions are high. America is arguably more divided than it has been decades. Senseless violence, strong hostility among families, and severely damaged race relations seem to be all we hear these days.
Well, fear no more America, because Brandon Luther King is here to save the mothaf**kin day. Donald, if you’re reading this (between tweeting) pay close attention. I’m about to hand you the keys to a more perfect union. And to all my fellow citizens, read this carefully before going to sleep tonight, as I strongly believe it could change your life..
I have a dream. I have a dream that one day this nation which ranks highest in the world in opportunity AND obesity, resources AND regrets, Wise Warriors AND failing f**k boys understand the truth.
You see my friends, a good chunk of the current bullsh*t going on in America is because so many of you are unsatisfied with your lives. Think about it for a minute. You think a guy that loves his job, has a great relationship and conquering his workouts like a damn animal would spend a MINUTE crying about an election? You think this person, who’s got clear direction and purpose would even THINK about hating someone just because of the color of their skin?
Nah, son. I mean, NO my compatriots. I have a dream today! I have a dream that you are making so many damn gains that your mere Shredded presence makes your enemies squeal and your family feel protected. I have a dream that you’re crushing your goals so strongly that you can’t even process the thought of letting some political crap occupy a second of your day.
And just for you, my friends, as a token of good faith, I’m giving you a special free gift. Just head on over to www.instantabdominals.com. But you need to go now, as it won’t be free forever.
Do this and I promise you, you’ll be singing with me, “Swole at last! Swole at last! Thank God Almighty, We’re Swole at last!”
Brandon Luther King
PS: Help me on my quest to make America Ripped and Dope Again.